Worst. Meeting. Ever!

- Image by Saintbridge via Flickr
We’ve all been there. The droning. The room that’s too hot, too cold, too crowded, too deserted so all eyes are on uncomfortable you. The squeaky chair. The stale doughnuts and the coffee that burns through your esophagus as if you had ingested lye. Try to catch a buzz off the whiteboard marker, anyone?
No one’s taking a stand, passive aggressive interchanges grow into a web so dense it becomes impossible to sort out intent, and the meeting concludes. The outcome is no decision, or a decision so contrary to the benefits presented that you shake your head in wonder. What a waste of everyone’s time! Things were hijacked! What was supposed to happen in there?
Group dynamics are fascinating. Whether it’s observing tribal behavior, participating in collective learning or decision-making, leading board members, or presenting to committee members, my experiences have invariably yielded thought fodder. By far, the most intriguing and frustrating manifestation of the group process is the committee in all its dysfunctional wonder.
In sales we are taught that all decisions are emotional, then justified with logic. Wikipedia expands:
From a psychological perspective, it is necessary to examine individual decisions in the context of a set of needs, preferences an individual has and values they seek. From a cognitive perspective, the decision making process must be regarded as a continuous process integrated in the interaction with the environment. From a normative perspective, the analysis of individual decisions is concerned with the logic of decision making and rationality and the invariant choice it leads to.[2]
Never mind that I had to read it about three times to figure out what it was saying. No wonder outcomes are so unpredictable! The needs, environmental interactions and rationality of each committee member are subjective!

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Leaders get tired of herding committees past the logic watering hole, the oasis of needs, and the irrationality pit stop. It’s even more surprising when the trail drive ends at an entirely different destination!
Facilitators behave with maddening equanimity. It seems to us that no others need take less of a stand – except for the weather forecaster, perhaps. We can’t stand being “facilitated” into something milk toasted into a totally alien life form when compared to an initial premise or objective, thank you!
I regularly attended committee meetings as a young new hire at a swanky retail firm. The company was run by four brothers, whose immigrant parents had built a Depression-era dry goods store into a thriving fashion chain. Elderly Mama G still held sufficient shares to bring her grown-up sons to their knees when sibling rivalry ensued. In she would swoop, the tires on her yellow Cadillac squealing. Striding firmly through the front double doors, waving her pocketbook, she’d browbeat her foolish boys with a thick Lebanese accent. “Numbskulls! We do eet like thees! Stop shouting! I love you! Good-bye!”
Company strategy arose out of this predictable dynamic. I still laugh: what a way to run a business! The subversive joke was that Mama G held portions of her sons’ anatomy on reserve and presented them only on occasion. Whatever we may have thought of her interpersonal skills, Mama circumvented poor group decisions. She would have scoffed at the very notion of facilitating a consensus-based outcome from her darling numbskulls.
Obviously, not every ineffective committee can be rescued by the likes of Mama G. The University of Sussex has kindly defined an ineffective committee as having “. . . inappropriate or disengaged members, ill informed members who have not received or read the papers, has late circulations or tabled papers, a poorly briefed chair, deals with unnecessary items of business and does not make timely decisions.” Gosh, that’s a daily occurrence in meetings all over the globe. C-Span has made a killing off the government’s legions of ineffective examples.

- Image by Steve Kay via Flickr
Who decided that group decisions are ultimately better in all cases? Certainly there is a need to gather and hear all input and points of view. But to the point of total breakdown?
Unilateral decision-makers assume all the risk when things go awry. But don’t we expect leaders to just make the tough decisions? We want our President, our judiciary, our CEO’s and others we elect or expect to represent us to make tough calls. Instead, we get divergence, poll-taking, dissenting opinions, mangled outcomes and failure to commit.
On the off chance that a leader emerges who does make difficult decisions, the opposition will loudly object to having insufficient part in the process. Yet, they generally do not provide a viable alternative. The decision’s effect devolves with misunderstanding and misinterpretation. By valuing collective decision-making, we have weakened potential outcomes via dilution. When’s the last time you remember boldness from a committee?

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Decisive, bold moves are generally made by individuals, bucking the group-think of advisors. Remember, it was Ronald Reagan‘s advisory group who admonished him to tone down his speech in Berlin. Imagine, we’d never have heard, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this Wall!” if Reagan had listened to them.
Any salesperson will tell you he dreads presenting to committees. One can go in with a presentation tailored toward pre-set parameters, and emerge dizzy from the buck-passing that results in no sale. Take in the scene at a car dealership when wife overrides husband’s sportscar for the mini-van. Or how about when Mommy and Daddy come house-hunting with newlyweds? The process malingers.
The University of Sussex reminds us, “An effective Committee has an appropriate membership for its terms of reference, a well briefed Chair, considers items of substantive business and has authority to make informed decisions in a timely manner.”
Committee activities can cluster as follows:
- approve
- recommend
- note
- consider
The last two aren’t really actions. They’re about keeping an informational record and discussing, which easily lead to nothing. Recommending moves things along to a higher level of authority. With only this 25% chance of direct action, it’s no wonder the soup of individual needs, irrationality and environmental interaction is so bland.
The work of committees should yield more than calling additional attention to the matter at hand. As such, the effective committee is an endangered, if not fairly extinct, species.
We think it’s ironic that elected officials, middle managers, and all sorts of groups have managed to elevate the process of making no decision to a gracefully insidious art form. What’s even more disappointing is the level of complacency that allows these execrable artisans to get away with the same shenanigans time and again in our workplaces, our government, and our world.
What say you?
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Peter and Betsy Wuebker are location-independent professionals who share what they know about travel, simplicity and integrating work with life. 
I truly believe that the term “effective committee” is an oxymoron!!
One of the reasons I prefer working with solo entrepreneurs is that I can avoid dealing with inevitable “committees” that come with corporate culture.
Committees and those gawd awful endless meetings are but TWO of the many reasons I fled corporate America for the wilds of self employment!!!
However, I probably would have tolerated a company with a Mama G at the helm. EVERY business NEEDS a Mama G who is decisive, authoritative and most of all – WISE!
Kathy @ Virtual Impax´s last blog post..Your Digital Footprints…
Hi Kathy – AND, she could silence the brothers’ bedlam with a look, to boot! It was hilarious! Yes, working with individuals who not only have the authority, but aren’t afraid to make a decision is the best. Thanks.
Last year, I had the opportunity to go back and sit in on a couple of team meetings as an outside contractor. With a career no longer involved, I had a perceptional shift. It didn’t make the meetings any better, but they weren’t anywhere near as painful.
Also, I was the only one in the room who had a smile.
Mike Goad´s last blog post..January Twentieth
Hi Mike – What a good point! Sometimes disassociation provides a better or more relaxed experience. It is good to know that the pain of the meeting is only temporary and more by choice than when you had to be there, isn’t it? Thanks.
Thanks goodness I no longer have to attend meetings, but when I did they sapped the very life force out of me, usually.
“I truly believe that the term “effective committee” is an oxymoron!! ” Dittoes, Kathy!
Jannie Funster´s last blog post..And the ukulele song winner is…
Hi Betsy. I agree with Kathy and Jannie, re “effective committee” being an oxymoron. I don’t miss meetings AT ALL! I hadn’t considered this before but I wonder if “working lunches” are more effective. People seem to connect better over food. (Not that I agree in working lunches — bad for digestion.) Is that why more companies offer meetings over lunch nowadays… or, is it to squeeze another ounce of your time? Sadly, I think the latter is the case.
Davina´s last blog post..How Curious Moments Add Value
“Decisive, bold moves are generally made by individuals, bucking the group-think of advisors. ” – I agree. Group meetings are fine, as long as there’s a leader who gathers the input, then makes the decision.
I’ve never sat on a committee but I’ve been in more than enough meetings that consisted of useless banter.
Melissa Donovanq´s last blog post..When Writers Blog
I agree with Vered – MomGrind. The only meetings worth while are those in which a leader makes the decisions after hearing all the input. If it is decision by committee, forget it. Majority rules is not always the right answer.
peter´s last blog post..ENDANGERED SPECIES: THE EFFECTIVE COMMITTEE
Hi Betsy – It’s been a long time since I sat in on a committee meeting, and I certainly don’t miss them. It seemed like everyone was talking at once and no one was saying anything. Those who weren’t in management saw them as a great way to get out of work. I saw them as a waste of time and money. It worked much better when we had one on one meetings and resolved the issues with someone of authority.
Thank goodness committees are no long part of my life.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog post..Not So New Blogs – From Spain to Singapore
Hi Jannie- Yes, there’s a funny cartoon out on the net entitled “Death by Meeting” and all the other jokes have to be rooted in reality, too. It’s nice not to have to be in that helpless position. Thanks.
Hi Davina – I think working lunches can be effective. At least they have a finite time frame and if nothing happens, you did get something to eat out of it!
Hi Vered – Agreed! Too often, though, the leader doesn’t do it for whatever reason. Why call the meeting to begin with? Thanks.
Hi Melissa – It’s so maddening, too, isn’t it. Such a time waster!
Hi Pete from Denver
Yes, the majority can really mess things up.
Hi Barbara – Just another perk when you have your own company – you can set the agenda if you absolutely have to meet, and make the decision , too! It’s all good, isn’t it? Thanks.
Yeah, I just LOVE those meetings.
Spending 30% of the time talking about what you’ve DONE. 30% of the time talking about what you’re GONNA do. And 20% of the time, recording minutes and “Actions” and issuing them, to document everything that was just said.
Which leaves about 20% of the time to do any ACTUAL WORK.
No wonder companies are screwed.
Hi Friar – I looked over an agenda for a 5 hour strategic planning meeting that is being held later today (yep, on Saturday) and that’s exactly the format. There is even a “facilitator” hired from outside to deal with process. Ugh.