Our Akismet plug-in is a little work horse, intercepting and filtering spam comments numbering in the thousands now. After a couple of our regular commenters wound up in there recently, I started scanning the folder just to make sure I wasn’t deleting someone who didn’t deserve it.
Certain lyrical phrases from lengthy spammers popped out at me during my reviews. They seemed like alien poetry. I remembered that Jannie Funster shares her hilarious typos with us from time to time in her “Bord on a Wire” series, and I thought voila! We’ll post some of the poetry I cut and pasted from spam comments in our Akismet folder! And, we’ll see what Apture matches with them! So without further ado:
I reasonable recently arrived home from a long road throw off and found that my harmony was here ok and secure.
Thank-you on your aid, the whole shooting match has arrived without any hiccups
I’m cheery with my Cialis Systematization, my whife loved it 
-
his skin judging right bones here had studied
This pink quilted Chanel tote purposefulness prevail upon you look like you well-deserved stepped out of the pages of Vogue.
What you imagine in the pictures is what you commitment get.
Tree were tubers they the names hurled them
I received the neatness exactly fine. They production Great.
Gracious postal service!!
hurting mortal becomes positive balance
the flowers which has ends together how alien
passengers funneled their nest
how trees aglow seemed impossible
Maidens could off the verride code something stronger
the remnant computer was worse risk
And this glowing testimonial for breast enhancement products:
TestimonialsWomen
“My teats encourage been thru all things with 4 children that all emotion fodder in 5 1/2 years. I had to do something. My participant offered to pay for surgery but I tried knocker Actives™ dawn. sumptuously, they aren’t bank balls be associated with go-by you, but there mine. I’m cock-a-hoop and my accessory is exhilarated and we’re $6000 richer. You’ve got a adept productivity.”
- Jill and Tony, San Diego, CA
Gosh, Jill and Tony, with those results our accessory would be all exhilarated, too! Here’s to adept productivity on a Monday! 
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Peter and Betsy Wuebker are location-independent professionals who share what they know about travel, simplicity and integrating work with life. 
Teats! You don’t hear that word every day. Unless you’re a dairy farmer, I guess.
Great idea for a post.
I’ve had one spam I saved for a while waiting for an occasion to share it, now will be perfect.
“If you’re sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” whenever there is processing time required.”
Quite creative, I thought! And fun to do.
Thanks for the shout-out, and when I get my first “Like A Bord On A Wire” tome published one day, will you come to my book singing? I would love to make a mitten stop!
Or Detroit. How far is Detroit??
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Just Plain What The Heck? — Funny Keyword Searches, 5 =-.
Very funny! Most of mine just say things like, “Great post. Really enjoyed it.” from people in Russia who never read the post.
.-= Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes by Jannie Funster =-.
This is truly fantastic. Wow, I wonder what fun I’ve been missing in MY spam folder!
.-= Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..How to Be Creative =-.
Betsy,
Well another thing a ma bob I will have to find on my dashboard. This was very clever and most fun.
A great post
Thank you for figuring out how to do this and putting it together in a fine tune
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..DIY* Healthcare Plan: Skin Care =-.
What an original idea for a post! And I’m so quick to just hit the delete button when I’m in the spam folder. Now, I’ve got Tweets to read, blog posts to read, comments to read and now… spam to read
You’re right, this was poetic. I love the photo of the trees.
.-= Davina´s last blog ..Remembering a Friend =-.
Hi Jannie – Skip Detroit and come to Minnesota – we’ll show you a great time in the Minne-apple! I love it: spinning and singing the Lion Sleeps Tonight while my poor browser huffs and puffs. A wing a wap a wing a wap! LOL Thanks.
Hi Dot – I just deleted one from Romania asking where we were from. Not sure I’d prefer to say to them, anyway. Isn’t that where Dracula lives? Thanks.
Hi Hayden – Betcha take a look before you auto-delete next time!
Thanks.
Hi Patricia – Thank you, one would never deny I’m easily amused. Glad you enjoyed it!
Hi Davina – Isn’t that a great photo? Good old Apture! I bet you’ll be reading your spam folder with a “different” eye now. Thanks!
Oh that’s hilarious! I used to get very funny spam emails at my old job, and sometimes I’d laugh out loud when I read them. Who comes up with those things?!!
Thanks for the laugh on this beautiful Wednesday in Western New York! (Near many-a-dairy farm, mind you…)
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Feeling Prosperous =-.
” alien poetry.” Hehe I LOVE that. Many of those spam comments do read like alien poetry!
Hi Megan – Yeah, I’m feeling all recently arrived home from a long road throw off and found that my harmony was here ok and secure, today myself.
Thanks.
Hi Vered – It is alien poetry, though, right? I bet you’re going to look at yours now!
Thanks.
LMAO at Jill and Tony’s testimonial. I’ve often wondered why some of these spam comments are so weird. Is it just because the folk who write them don’t speak english, or are they computer generated or something?
Very funny! I never thought about looking through mine.
.-= Rose´s last blog ..A shih-tzu Blogs and New puppy =-.
Hi Cath – That has to be it – or else a random phrase generator. Most of the ones caught in my folder are from Eastern Europe. Thanks.
Hi Rose – Welcome to PassingThru! I’m going to head over and see what I hope are puppy photos at your blog. I’ll bet you’ve got some doozie phrases in your folder; have a look! Thanks.
Hi Betsy,
After reading your post, it makes me realize I should be checking in the spam folder a little more often for great post ideas.
I love how you turned something we bloggers look at as a nuisance, into a post that puts a smile on our faces.. We’ll never look at spam quite the same.
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Blogging Etiquette – Write The Wrongs =-.
You inspired me to check out my spam folder, but you are much more clever than I….for I could not see how to make a poem or a funny…it was quite raw stuff!
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..Comfort =-.
Hi Barbara – It was worth scanning all the Cialis spam to mine those nuggets! Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.
Hi Patricia – Oh yeah, we get doozies, too. That’s why these stood out! Thank you.
Hi Betsy – I always deleted spam without looking at it for the first year or so of blogging – then I was horrified one day when I discovered 2 friends in there – I wonder who I had previously got chucked out, because it chucks out anything over a month old automatically. Since then I have kept a close eye on it – and I must say much of it is pretty gross – not as entertaining as yours. Love the accompanying pictures.!
.-= Robin´s last blog ..Relaaaaaaaaaaax =-.
Hi Robin – Yes, a lot of it is pretty gross, but occasionally a really great turn of (almost) phrase will pop out! I think this post was a good experiment for Apture, too, as I “let” it select the photographs. Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks.