Comments on: When Your Inner Critic is on Steroids

By: Writing Superheroes | Confident Writing

Writing Superheroes | Confident Writing — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 11:22:31 +0000

[...] When Your Inner Critic is on Steroids: Betsy Wuebker at Passing Thru [...]

By: Betsy Wuebker

Betsy Wuebker — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 14:12:22 +0000

Hi Jannie – I will have to check out what Chris Edgar says while I am doing inspiring buttock lifts, maybe? LOL Thanks for your kind words. Lori and I are very excited.

Hi Sharon – Welcome to PassingThru! You are so right. Your tactic allows you to remain focused and not be distracted by a self-message that’s irrelevant. Awesome! Thank you.

By: Sharon Eden

Sharon Eden — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 13:41:08 +0000

I take the ‘taking tea with your demons’ approach with my inner critic. When it strikes with thoughts I talk directly to it with… ‘Thank you SO much for telling me that and right now I’m…………… ” inserting whatever I’m doing right now this moment like…. ‘and right now I’m writing a blog comment.”

Acceptance plus bringing my awareness to the now usually works a treat.

Great article… thank you!
.-= Sharon Eden´s last blog ..Do Less And Be More =-.

By: Jannie Funster

Jannie Funster — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:01:32 +0000

Hot dang!! I just started my New Years Resolutions all over, thanks to this. Now, what were my resolutions, again? Hmmm, the only one I can remember or really care to is doing my buttock lifts daily.

The approach to the inner critic here is a very healthy one, reminds me of the approach to things Chris Edgar espouses, acknowledging the negative stuff and listening to it rather than denying or running away from it.

Well done post, as usual, Betsy. It’ll be very interesting to see what you and Lori cook up for the download!

By: Betsy Wuebker

Betsy Wuebker — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:06:27 +0000

Hi Davina – You’re so right about catching the Inner Critic early in the game. Good listening will evaluate the message and discard it if it’s not founded. Do you think we can “teach” our Inner Critic to behave more respectfully? I do. Thanks.

Hi Dot – I loved your example about equating the message as a repeat of something else you’ve heard from someone whose view wasn’t necessarily one you’d benefit from. It’s important to think, “Now where did I hear that before?” and consider the source, isn’t it? Thank you.

Hi Joanna – Welcome to PassingThru! I think there’s always an opportunity for the Inner Critic to go rogue when there’s a particularly comparative atmosphere, especially when it’s a situation where we have hesitancy of some fashion. That’s where courage needs to come in, right? And yes, the darker side of Inner Critics is when they go completely rogue, as in the case of narcissism or depression. Like Hayden suggested above, I’ve always viewed “shoulds” as someone else’s goal for me, as well as an expectation they might have. Easier to place the thought in perspective. Thank you.

Hi Hilary – Thanks for chiming in! “We can only deal with so much and one step in all walks of life at a time” is so true. A healthy perspective will prioritize what we take on by holding things up against our goals, presuming we’ve been reflective and have made some decisions about what is important or not. As you imply, all the better reason to thoughtfully decide where we best spend our energies, what we want to accomplish and why. Thank you.

By: Hilary

Hilary — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:55:16 +0000

Hi Joanna and Betsy .. Joanna your question stood out at a time when I had a minute or two .. I definitely learn from the comments made – however I differentiate to where I’m at .. ie I simply cannot do somethings, though I’m sure later on I will – I try and take on board the things that are helpful and ‘hit’ me as the things that I know I’m not good with & those ideas that can improve that side of life. Others I take on board for later, some I just simply can’t think about .. so it’s that filtering system again. We can only deal with so much and one step in all walks of life at a time ..

Definitely – is what I learn from everyone around .. there’s always snippets that ring bells and help us all ..

Thank you – it made me set out my shoulds but not always!!
Enjoy your travels .. Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Turning a team of oxen – any idea how? =-.

By: Joanna Young

Joanna Young — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 07:44:08 +0000

I’m not sure ‘enjoyed’ is the right word for my reaction to this piece – shuddered maybe, as I thought about the evil work my inner critic can do when on steroids (too often for my liking… I wonder if it’s in response to the new stuff I keep pushing and testing?)

But I wanted to say thanks for writing and sharing it, because I think it’s something really important for us to learn about.

One question / reflection I had – do you think blogging, including the reading of other blogs makes the relationship with the inner critic harder or healthier? In some ways I find I get help to deal with it (as I learn I’m not alone) but I also think perhaps he’s fed by the tomes of well-meaning advice out there, whispering a litany of ‘shoulds’ that otherwise might not be there.

Just wondering what you / your wonderful readers thought about this?

By: Dot

Dot — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:59:55 +0000

One thing that works for me is to identify the source of my Inner Critic on this particular subject, whatever it may be, and then evaluate the usefulness of that person’s criticisms. In most cases, my worst self-criticisms echo my mother’s criticisms of me, but at times it’s another relative or even a bad teacher. Then I can say, “Oh, my mother was the one who thought I couldn’t draw, and she was wrong because she was overly critical and also she always compared me to my sister, who was more talented.” Now that I’m conscious of where the Inner Critic got that criticism, I can see that it’s of no value. Interesting subject!
.-= Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Dollop by Mike Goad =-.

By: Davina

Davina — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 06:44:08 +0000

Hi Betsy and Lori.
The trick with this darn inner critic is to catch it in the act early on. Those voices can drone on and on and become an unconscious patten. I’ve had days where I’ve been in the most rotten mood and then suddenly it hits me. Negative thoughts have been chattering away and I’ve been believing them. It takes practice, and good listening skills… that’s for sure.
.-= Davina´s last blog ..I Find Stillness =-.

By: Betsy Wuebker

Betsy Wuebker — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 00:23:04 +0000

Hi Lori – Yes, what a paradox! “Trust yourself and your instincts.” “Keep your Inner Critic in its place.” You really have to know how to walk that narrow path. And yes, I can’t wait either!

Hi Hayden – I looked in vain for one with the little people on each shoulder. “Sure, you’d be great at that!” “No, you wouldn’t!” Isn’t it the truth about shoulds? Too often they signify we have little to no buy-in on the subject. Thanks.

Hi Hilary – Very true! The older we get the more comfortable we are with ourselves, and not so dependent upon the assessments (perceived or real) of others. It’s IDGAS syndrome, as we said at a place I worked: “I Don’t Give A S—”

Hi Patricia – Interesting observation about how it takes everyone a different amount of time to settle “into their skin.” On the one hand, my daughter arrived in that state. On the other hand, it is so exciting to see someone of a certain age discover how comfortable they can be with themselves. Thank you.

Hi Wendi – Welcome to PassingThru! You’re right in describing the balancing act. It’s not as though the negative voice isn’t routed in an issue that could be improved. It’s just that we create a sense of “can deal with it” and neutralize the “you are not enough” interpretation. Thank you for your kind comments on the project, too.