Many of you know that we’ve experienced a death in the family. Over the 4th of July holiday, Pete’s mom was taken ill, hospitalized and quickly transitioned from curative care into hospice once a clear diagnosis was made. She passed on July 8th. Although she had been battling this latest occurrence of her cancer for well over a year, these events still came as an unexpected shock. We want to thank all of you who have been so supportive and concerned. It means a very great deal to know how much you care.
Navigating the most highly-charged experiences we face in life can lead to a greater degree of clarity. Now that we’ve dealt with the most pressing details and logistics, we are at the beginning of such a transition. All things are in heightened focus as we see them from a different perspective. We’re looking at everything with new eyes. This is a bittersweet blessing, coming as it does from loss.
We had planned to celebrate Passing Thru’s two year anniversary this month by inaugurating an e-newsletter. There are many topics in our posting folder that never make it to the blog, so we think enhancing our journey together in this format makes sense. Our first issue is nearly complete, and we’d love it if you’d join us by subscribing. If you’re reading via RSS, you may have to click into the post to do so.
While losing someone so close is still very raw, we’re looking ahead. Part of our processing is going to be re-prioritizing, as we identify the lessons and seek meaning from the experience. We’ve already made some general decisions and are accelerating certain plans. We’re going to narrow our choices to those that resonate most deeply, and do our best to reduce our “somedays” into “soon” and “now.” Life is most definitely too short to do otherwise.
So, we’ll be taking a temporary break from blogging as we heal and redefine what means the most to us moving forward. Knowing what we know now, we’re very conscious of how precious our journey is, and we’ll definitely be back to share how it takes shape with you.
One of the things Pete’s mother will be remembered for is her incomparable talent for gourmet cooking. Not surprisingly, her most favorite movie was Babette’s Feast. Her eulogy was closed with this quote from the screenplay:
You must also know that I shall be with you every day that is granted to me from now on. Every evening I shall sit down to dine with you. Not with my body, which is of no importance, but with my soul. Because this evening I have learned, my dear, that in this beautiful world of ours, all things are possible.
See you soon.
Peter and Betsy Wuebker are location-independent professionals who share what they know about travel, simplicity and integrating work with life. 
You write, “Navigating the most highly-charged experiences we face in life can lead to a greater degree of clarity.” I’m sorry you face the emotional maelstrom surrounding a family death, but thankful the experience has opened up new paths of understanding and insight. May your healing time bring good friends, warm hugs, and a gentle transition to the new.
.-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..Independence Day song for targets of narcissists =-.
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Betsy
Reading your post instantly brought me back to when my father died. So many thoughts before, during and after! Clarity about those things that really matter were definitely brought to the forefront.
Our thoughts and prayers are for you and Pete during these very memorable and impressionable days.
Hi Lori – Thank you. We’ll be sharing. You’re right; it’s a new path.
Hi Alan – Thanks. Yes, I’ve been comparing these days to those when my parents passed, as well. Impressions and better thinking.
Hi Betsy,
Having lost my parents and many other loved ones, it’s hard to describe to others the feelings which surface. For me, it was hard because they’re feelings I had never experienced before. What you’ve written describes it best.
((Hugs)) and condolences to you and yours.
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Who’s Who In Blogosphere =-.
Hi Barb .. no I didn’t know .. but belated thoughts and love to you both – when it comes .. it is always a shock. I have been lucky and have made the best of the last few years with my mother, despite the fact she is bedridden and stroke .. I consider myself blessed.
I will be thinking of you as you take this time to reflect on life, on the cherished moments … and I loved Babette’s feast .. and that last paragraph .. will resonate on for me at this time. I am preparing for the future as I consider it important that I do move on & if I am overwhelmed when her time comes .. then I’ll hit the bottom .. and I want to go with the positives in this life and that means me being ready for the future. She said the other day .. are you ready for the future .. and I said yes I know what I’d like to do .. and she said – you are a clever thing! she often brings tears to my eyes .. – so Pete I will be thinking of you – she will be with you .. that’s what’s important for now .. time to be with her as she journeys towards the rainbow above ..with love and hugs – Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Could this be a sitcom – or a break out sitcom Ever had a one word – at a time – conversation Fish and Chips – how do you spell it =-.
Hi Betsy.
I’m emerging from a wee blogging break to stop in and offer my condolences. After having lost my mother and grandmother who I was extremely close to, I can agree with Barbara; feelings come up during these times that folk have not experienced before.
We learn because it is so new and yet we’re still connected with the familiar memory; we are sensitive rather than defensive. She’s taken you to a whole new world and “things *are* in a heightened focus” — perfect choice of words.
There’s a lot of wisdom in this post, Betsy — “Navigating the most highly-charged experiences we face in life can lead to a greater degree of clarity.” Hugs to you both and warm thoughts to Pete’s mom.
.-= Davina´s last blog ..Oh- Nothing =-.
Betsy and Pete,
I am keeping you in my prayers and thoughts as you navigate this time in your lives. The full spectrum of emotion and life all wrapped up in the occasion.
Your writing indicates you are on a good path and have some sound thinking as part of your new journey….there is no road map as it is an individual and family journey…
I so enjoyed your final quote…everything is possible.
sending my best thoughts
and some hugs
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..Toadly Tickling My Funny Bone =-.
Hi Betsy – Losing a loved one can be so tough. But it’s weird how something good often comes out of something bad. It’s great that you and Pete are reacting so positively and planning to focus on the things that mean the most to you.
I love the passage from the film at the end of your post. I haven’t seen that film but I’ll be checking it out.
BTW – I got your newsletter in my email already. Do I have to subscribe again, or will I still keep getting it if I do nothing?
Hi Barbara – You’re right, the feelings are very complex and often they catalyze us to begin a new phase with different perspective. Thanks.
Hi Hilary – I’d expected this news would resonate with you in the way it did. Your journey has been very inspiring.
Hi Davina – I remember how you wrote so beautifully and with such sensitivity about the different aspects of your relationship with your mother, and I was glad you reached understanding and acceptance before she was gone.
Hi Patricia – Thank you. You’re right, sometimes we just have to throw aside the map and set off along the road. Liberating and scary, too.
Hi Cath – I think you’ll like Babette’s Feast. In researching the dialogue for quotes as the eulogy was being written, I found a lot of great analysis on the symbolism and spiritual references in it. The book was written by Karen Blixen, who wrote “Out of Africa,” which has long been a favorite of mine. Who knew?
And yes, you’re good to go on the newsletter. I hope I used the email address you prefer. If not, let me know. Thanks.
I haven’t had a chance to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Moving those “somedays” into “soon” and “now” is a wonderful thing to do.
Thanks Betsy – I loved Out of Africa, so I’m betting I’ll like it. And yes – that email address is the good one. I love your new newsletter and I’m glad you mentioned Mike’s blog. Sometimes, because he focuses on pictures instead of words he tends to get missed out.
Did you see his video on the woman who was attacked by the buffalo in Yellowstone? Scary stuff and she was very lucky. I so want to go there but I’m going to make the kids read Death In Yellowstone first.
.-= Cath Lawson´s last blog ..Why You Are Letting Your Blog Readers Down =-.
Hi Betsy, it’s such a big change when we lose a person who is one of the foundation stones of our existence. I can’t begin to imagine what it is like as I do still have my parents and, like Hilary, care for my mother. This time with her is very precious to me.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
.-= Mandy Allen´s last blog ..How do you relax =-.
Hi Vered – Thank you. It’s never too late until it suddenly is.
Hi again Cath – Thanks for the compliments on the newsletter. Yes, I saw that buffalo attack on video. Very scary. And now there has been a bear attack with one killed and several injured. People forget these are wild animals. I’ve not heard of that book. Have you read Into the Wild about Christopher McCandless? Another very naive, romantic young man who lost his life due to reckless disregard.
Hi Mandy – Welcome to PassingThru. We hope you’ll stick around for happier times ahead. I lost both my parents years ago, and you’re right to enjoy them. Thank you.
Thank you for your good words on my post – it meant a great deal to me
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..Stopping to Smell the Flowers =-.
Dearest Betsy, my deepest condolences on Pete’s mother’s passing. I hope you are taking comfort in each other and the loved ones around you.
When Jim’s mother died several years ago it was a hard go, a time of “reducing our somedays to nows.” A beautiful sentiment for any time of life.
I have never heard of Babette’s Feast. I really want to watch it now. That passage is one of the most moving I’ve ever read.
Take good care.
With love,
Jannie
xo
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..“Somewhere On A Michigan Highway” — Singin’ For & About The G-Man =-.
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